i will bring more updates as they happen.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

So i'm on twitter

and everyone is talking about this stock thing they are doing, good for them; and someone says "the scariest thing in the world are people with nothing left to lose. especially when you realize you have EVERYTHING to lose" and oh damn!, that is exactly my issue. i was in therapy yesterday, and i've been very slowly realizing that i am so deeply afraid of failure, of rejection, of having anything to lose and then losing it - that i don't even want to start. and i was told this is childish, and sure, whatever, it is. but this is where i'm at right now and i donxt know how i'd get out of it. i literally only have about 2000 dollars to my name, and i have given a loan of about 300, and that is all i have, all i am working with, and i'm scared to have more because then i stand the chance of losing it. and failing from the start diesn't scare me nearly as much as failing from some higher avhievement. of course there's the saying that failure is a bruise,...
Read more

Exercise and (my) mental health - part two

 part two: a book review (content warning: dark. depression, potential sui ideation) This part is not really a review, more like a recommendation, relating my personal experience to what I read. Well, it did start out with Krav Maga. The more I went and trained, the more I would hear about bettering our coordination, and through that, our self-confidence, and isn't that what we all want? I did get a bit interested in biomechanics, the effects of exercise on our nervous system, and, of course, bettering myself. And because I also got an instructor diploma in early 2018, I feel it's my duty to learn more and more about anything that might be related to my field - especially since I want to teach one day. I did get the opportunity to teach, in the fall of 2019, a mother contacted me and asked me to teach her kid, privately, so of course, I threw myself into the thing. Coincidentally, I also had a friend visiting Budapest at that time, and she asked me what souvenir to bring. That...
Read more

More weight loss stuff

 I am honestly beyond shocked with what has happened to me so far. Yes, I did go into this with the expectation to actually get down to 100 kg by the end of it, which would be around 2kgs a week lost, and I still feel attached to that outcome, but much, much less. I can definitely feel that my mental health is better, it is like I'm a new person now. I hear my coworkers complaining and my brain goes "couldn't be me". But then, at the same time, it says "remember when this was, indeed, us?" and of course I remember. I do feel like exercise is the thing that's keeping me out of that horrible rut I'd fallen into in 2020. So, now, as I'm at the end of my first Insanity cycle (one week left!!), let's sum up what expectations I had and didn't have, and how I did on them so far! I actually put all the things into an Excel sheet, thinking it'd be really helpful for me to track. And boy, am I tracking! I'm tracking my weight daily, the wee...
Read more